克拉克森：光污染？贼遍地？伦敦吃枣药丸！

Vegas-style Sphere would’ve brought visitors & fun to London but jumped up Sadiq Khan rejected it over Net Zero ideology

拉斯维加斯风格的大球本可以为伦敦带来游客与乐趣，但伦敦市长萨迪克·汗跳出来以净零排放理论拒绝了它

Jeremy Clarkson

杰里米·克拉克森

Published: 22:02, 18 Oct 2024

发表于2024年10月18日

WHEN I first saw footage of U2 performing in that enormous new electrical dome in Las Vegas, my mind was blown.

当我第一次看到U2乐队在拉斯维加斯的那个崭新的大电球里表演时，我深受震撼。

I’ve always loved big sound-and-light events.

我一直喜欢这种声势浩大的声光表演活动。

The Who at Wembley in 1979. That was so big, the air traffic controllers at Heathrow forced them to shut the lasers down.

例如谁人乐团于1979年在温布利球场的那次演出。那场演出太盛大了，以至于希斯罗机场的空中交通管控员迫使他们关闭了激光器。

Then, in the same year, there was Led Zep and Jimmy Page, who played his guitar with a violin bow, engulfed by tetrahedrons of light.

此后，在同一年里，还有齐柏林飞艇乐队和英国吉他手吉米·佩奇，他们用小提琴弓演奏吉他，被来自四面八方的光所淹没。

These things made me run round in circles, squeaking and clutching my tinkle.

这些故事都能让我一边怪叫一边握着我的老二四处乱跑。

That’s why I was so excited by the new dome. I’m not an especially big fan of U2 and I actively dislike Las Vegas, but I decided immediately that I needed to get on a plane and go there. To experience it.

这也就是为什么我对这个大球感到非常兴奋。我不是什么U2乐队的大粉，而且我非常讨厌拉斯维加斯，但我立刻决定我需要飞到那儿去，去亲身感受一下。

For all sorts of pig and cow-based reasons, that never happened. But it wasn’t the end of the world because I heard a rumour they were going to build another dome — in London.

但处于各种各样的猪牛琐事，我没有去成。但那并不是什么世界末日，因为我听说他们要在伦敦再建一个大球。

Brilliant, I thought.

我寻思着这可太棒了啊。

Sadly, however, the mayor of this once great city, Sadiq Khan, thought differently.

然而，很遗憾的是，这座曾经伟大过的城市的市长，萨迪克·汗，有着不同的想法。

He said it would cause too much light pollution. Really? In London. Is he mad?

他说大球会造成太多的光污染。真的吗？在伦敦？他疯了吗？

And he said it would need too much electricity.

他还说大球会消耗过多的电能。

He actually sat there, in his air-conditioned, fully lit goldfish bowl of an office on the banks of the Thames, in a city where the birds sing at night because it’s so bright, and said that.

他真的就安坐在那里，说出这样的话——在泰晤士河畔上一间空调常备、灯火通明的被世人所注视的办公室里。在那座城市里，鸟儿在夜晚放声歌唱，因为晚上也很明亮。

“Hello, Mr Khan. We’d like to invest in your city and bring millions of visitors from all around the world, which would be great news for London’s hotels, bars and restaurants.”

“市长同志，您好。我们想投资您的城市，将来自全世界数以百万计的游客带到这里——这对于伦敦的旅馆、酒吧、餐馆来说是一则好消息。”

“Bugger off!”

“滚犊子！”

If I had been running the council in Leeds, or Newcastle or Cardiff, I’d have been on the phone in a shot.

如果我在利兹、纽卡斯尔或者卡迪夫管理议会，我肯定立马就把电话拨过去了。

I’d have seen how much business such an attraction would bring to the area and done everything in my power to make it happen.

我会看到这样一处景观能为这个地区带来多少商业机遇，并在我的权力范围内尽我所能推动其落地。

And if some local busybody moaned about light pollution and mental health issues in the community, I’d have put my fingers in my ears and hummed loudly till they shut up.

如果当地有好事之徒抱怨社区里的光污染和心理将康问题，我会堵上耳朵、大声哼唱，直到他们闭嘴。

But no other council, so far as I’m aware, did step forward. The biggest levelling-up opportunity since the industrial revolution — and no one did a damn thing.

但据我所知，没有哪个议会站出来发声。这是自工业革命以来最大的一次升级机会，而没有一个人出来做事儿。

The Tories, who were in power at the time, tried to overrule the deranged Mayor of London, but it was too late. The company behind the idea pulled out, saying they didn’t want to be a political football.

当时还在执政的保守党试图更改精神错乱的伦敦市长做出的决定，但为时已晚。提出这个建议的公司已经退出，称他们不想成为政治足球中的一环。

So now it’s been announced the new dome will be built in Abu Dhabi.

所以，新的大球将会在阿布扎比建造。

This is becoming an enormous problem in the UK. Tiny, jumped-up regional politicians have far too much power.

这将成为英国所面临的一个巨大问题。小小的地区政客拥有的权力太大了。

You would love to have a snazzy new concert venue in your area. Your kids would, too. Everyone would.

你很希望在你的地区里有一个崭新且时髦的音乐会场地。你的孩子也会。大家都会这么想。

But then along come the light pollution, Net Zero Nazis and the idea is squashed.

但之后，那些高呼着光污染和净零排放的纳*粹分子们来了，这个想法也就泡汤了。

And now, everyone who wants to experience this amazing venue will have to get on an A380 and endure a seven-hour flight to the UAE.

现在，所有想去亲身感受这一盛况的人只能坐上A380客机，飞7个小时去阿联酋看。

So stick that in your Net Zero pipe and smoke it.

所以把那想法塞进你的净零排放烟斗，尽情抽吧。

Seems London is dying

伦敦要完

ON a Tube train journey in London this week, I overheard a woman saying to her friend that her flat had been burgled and all the family passports stolen.

这周我在伦敦坐地铁的时候，我无意中听到一位女士跟她的朋友说她的公寓被盗了，所有的家庭护照都被偷走了。

Later, I saw a Porsche with both of the nearside doors missing.

不久之后，我看到一辆没有两扇左车门的保时捷。

And then I noticed that in one of the most expensive streets in West London’s Notting Hill, half the shops are now boarded up.

然后我注意到，在伦敦西部诺丁山最昂贵的街道之一上，有一半的商店都被木板封住了。

I then walked back to my flat and, for the first time ever, felt slightly threatened.

我走回了我的公寓，头一回感到受到了威胁。

I also felt slightly squiffy. The smell of weed was overpowering everywhere.

我也感觉有点微醺。四处都散发着冰的味道。

I dunno. It felt to me like London is dying.

我不清楚。在我看来，伦敦要完了。

原文链接：https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/31174131/vegas-sphere-london-sadiq-khan-jeremy-clarkson/

原作者：杰里米·克拉克森   Jeremy Clarkson

翻译&校对：ZN

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