对于雅思写作的备考,了解自己当前的水平很重要。以一个大作文的主体段为例,如果老师给你的打分是6分,那你一定很想知道对应的7分甚至8分主体段长什么样子。
让人类老师来做这个事情费时费力,会很辛苦,因为要按照你的原文的思想来改写的难度是不小的。
但是,如果让GPT-4来做,就是小菜一碟。
下面我下指令给GPT-4,让它以“Fastfood is harmful to people’s health --快餐对个人健康有害”为主题分别给出5,6,7和8分的主体段,并解释原因。
先是英文版:
Sure,I will provide examples of IELTS essay body paragraphs for bandscores of 5, 6, 7, and 8.
Thetopic sentence for each paragraph is: Fast food is harmful topeople's health.
1.**Band 5**:
Fast food bad. Make people sick. It got fats andsugar too much. Like, you eat burger, you get fat. Then you sick. Notgood. Very bad.
**Explanation**:
This paragraph is quite basic and does notshowcase strong language skills. The grammar, vocabulary andcoherence are weak, and there's almost no development of ideas orexplanation. Furthermore, it lacks examples or evidence to supportthe claim. The language is casual and informal, which isinappropriate for an academic essay.
2.**Band 6**:
Fast food, it's not good for health. It has lotsof fats and sugars that can cause diseases. If you eat a lot of fastfood like burgers or fries, you could become obese and this can leadto health problems. It's really bad for your health.
**Explanation**:
The paragraph shows a basic understanding of thetopic and the language used is relatively clear. However, thelanguage is still too informal for an academic essay, and there's alack of complex sentences. The paragraph lacks detail and doesn'tfully develop the ideas mentioned. There is an attempt to support theclaim with examples, but the argument could be developed further.
3.**Band 7**:
The consumption of fast food can detrimentallyimpact one's health due to its high fat and sugar content. Regularconsumption of such food items, like burgers or fries, could lead toobesity, a condition associated with a myriad of other health issues,such as heart disease and diabetes. The high-calorie content and lackof nutritional value in fast food makes it a significant threat topublic health.
**Explanation**:
The paragraph is well-structured with a clear mainidea and supporting details. It uses more complex sentence structuresand more formal, academic language. There are specific examples givenand the argument is developed reasonably well. The writer uses moresophisticated vocabulary ("myriad", "detrimentally","consumption") and a variety of sentence structures.However, it could benefit from even more detailed argumentation anddeeper analysis.
4.**Band 8**:
The adverse effects of fast food on individuals'health are manifold, primarily due to the excessive amounts of fatand sugar they typically contain. Regular indulgence in such meals,exemplified by burgers or fries, can trigger obesity, a growingpublic health concern that paves the way for numerous other healthcomplications. These include heart diseases, diabetes, and certaintypes of cancer. Such illnesses are often chronic and can drasticallyreduce an individual's quality of life or even lead to prematuredeath. Thus, the ubiquity and convenience of fast food, coupled withits detrimental health effects, pose a considerable threat to publichealth, demanding attention from consumers and policymakers alike.
**Explanation**:
This paragraph demonstrates a clear understandingof the topic, with a well-structured argument and developed ideas.The writer uses complex sentence structures, high-level vocabulary,and formal, academic language. The argument is supported by specificexamples and is analysed in detail. Additionally, the paragraphconnects the issue to broader societal concerns and calls for action,demonstrating critical thinking skills. The paragraph maintainscoherence and cohesion throughout, linking ideas smoothly.
然后给出中文版翻译和解释,方便同学们能更清楚和直观的了解各主要分数段的一个典型的主体段长什么样和其中的差别:
1.**Band 5**:
快餐不好。会让人生病。里面有太多的脂肪和糖。比如,你吃汉堡,你会变胖。然后你会生病。不好。非常糟糕。
**解释**:
这个段落很基础,没有展现出强大的语言技巧。语法,词汇和连贯性都很弱,几乎没有发展的思想或解释。此外,它缺乏例证或证据来支持这个说法。语言是随意和非正式的,不适合学术文章。
2.**Band 6**:
快餐,对健康不好。它有很多脂肪和糖,可以导致疾病。如果你吃很多像汉堡或者薯条这样的快餐,你可能会变胖,这可能导致健康问题。这对你的健康真的很不好。
**解释**:
段落展现了对话题的基本理解,使用的语言相对清晰。然而,对于学术文章来说,语言还是太非正式了,缺乏复杂的句子。段落缺乏细节,没有充分发展所提及的观点。尽管有试图用例子来支持论点,但是论证可以进一步发展。
3.**Band 7**:
由于其高脂肪和糖分含量,快餐的消费会对健康产生不利影响。这样的食品,如汉堡或薯条,的定期消费可能导致肥胖症,这是与众多其他健康问题相关的病症,如心脏病和糖尿病。快餐中的高热量内容和缺乏营养价值使其成为对公众健康的重大威胁。
**解释**:
这段话的结构良好,主要观点和支持细节清晰。它使用更复杂的句子结构和更正式、学术的语言。给出了具体的例子,论点发展得相当好。作者使用更复杂的词汇(如"myriad","detrimentally","consumption")和各种句子结构。然而,它可以从更详细的论证和更深入的分析中受益。
4.**Band 8**:
快餐对个人健康的负面影响是多方面的,主要是因为它们通常含有过量的脂肪和糖。像汉堡或薯条这样的餐点的定期食用可以引发肥胖症,这是一个日益严重的公共卫生问题,为许多其他健康问题铺平了道路。这些包括心脏病,糖尿病和某些类型的癌症。这些疾病通常是慢性的,可以大大降低个人的生活质量,甚至导致早逝。因此,快餐的普遍性和便利性,加上其对健康的有害影响,对公共健康构成了重大威胁,需要消费者和政策制定者的关注。
**解释**:
本段展示出对话题的清晰理解,有条理的论证和发展的观点。作者使用了复杂的句子结构,高级词汇,和正式的、学术的语言。论点通过具体的例子得到支持,并进行了详细的分析。此外,段落将问题连接到更广泛的社会问题,并呼吁采取行动,显示出批判性思维技巧。整个段落保持连贯和凝聚力,平滑地链接思想。
本文涉及的指令均收集于雅思终结者ChatGPT指令集。
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