克拉克森：你们啊，不要听风就是风，听雨就是雨！

There are so many myths about Top Gear - but I’m the one who can tell you what’s really true and what’s made up nonsense

有太多关于Top Gear的传言了——但只有我能告诉你哪些是真的，哪些是瞎编的

Jeremy Clarkson

杰里米·克拉克森

Published: 21:21, 6 Sep 2024

发表于2024年9月6日

THERE are so many stories we know for a fact are true.

有太多我们知道的事情是真实的。

Keith Moon, from The Who, drove a Rolls-Royce into a swimming pool.

谁人乐团的Keith Moon把一辆劳斯莱斯开进了游泳池里。

Keith Richards from the Stones snorted his father’s ashes, thinking they were something else.

滚石乐队的Keith Richards吸了一下他父亲的骨灰，还以为是什么别的东西。

And John Bonham from Led Zeppelin once used a fish he’d caught as a sex toy.

齐柏林飞艇乐队的John Bonham曾经把他捕上来的一条鱼当做情趣玩具用。

The only trouble is that these are urban myths. They’re all embellishments.

唯一的问题是，这些都是都市传说。都是经过粉饰的。

Which is a polite way of saying they’re all made up.

换言之，一种更委婉的方式说“都是瞎编的”。

Then you have the well-known story that Bon Jovi had it written in their rider that they wanted all the blue M&Ms removed from their dressing rooms.

还有一个著名的故事。有一份写给邦乔维乐队的文件中写道，要求他们去掉化妆间里的所有蓝色M&M巧克力豆。

That’s not true either. It was Van Halen.

这个故事也不是真的。那个乐队是范·海伦。

And it wasn’t the blue M&Ms they wanted removing. It was the brown ones.

被要求去掉的也不是蓝色M&M豆，而是棕色的。

Urban myths are still being perpetuated today.

都市传说现如今还在继续着。

We are told over and over again that Donald Trump wears nappies. So that must be fact.

我们一次又一次地被告知川普同志还在穿尿布。所以这肯定是真的了。

And we know also that Joe Biden once soiled himself while speaking to the Pope.

我们也知道拜登在与教皇交流时拉了个大的。

Did he? Yes, because everyone says so.

他真干了吗？包的，因为大伙都这么说。

The trouble is that everyone says Mount Everest was first climbed by an Englishman.

问题是，人人都说第一个登上珠峰的是个英国人。

And that Vikings wore horned helmets, and that Christopher Columbus discovered America.

维京人戴着角盔，哥伦布发现了美洲大陆。

But none of these things are even remotely accurate.

但这些跟真相还差着十万八千里呢。

All of which brings me on to a fascinating interview this week in which the American podcast legend Joe Rogan was chatting to former Top Gear host Chris Harris.

所有这些都使我想到了这周美国播客传奇人物Joe Rogan和前《最高档》主持人Chris Harris进行的一场访谈。

Chris opened up on Freddie Flintoff’s accident and what the ensuing months were like for those on the show.

猴子哥从Flintoff的事故谈起，还有对于节目组的人来说那之后的几个月是什么样子的。

And I must say, it was a riveting listen.

实话实说，这是个很有意思的播客。

But then talk turned to the story that I wrote a road test of the first ever Tesla before I’d driven it.

但随后这个谈话转向了这么一个事儿：我在测试特斯拉的首款车型之前就已经把剧本写好了。

And that the breakdown we showed on television was fabricated.

电视中展示的抛锚环节也是编造出来的。

There are lots of made-up stories about what happened when I hosted Top Gear.

我还在主持Top Gear的时候有不少编造出来的事儿。

People still believe, for instance, that we did the H982 FKL number plate thing in Argentina on purpose.

例如说，仍然有人相信我们在阿根廷用的H982 FKL号牌是故意的。

And in the big scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.

从大局来看，这倒没啥。

But it does wind me up something rotten when Joe and Chris perpetuate the myth that my Tesla road test was unfair.

但当Joe Rogan和猴子哥继续宣扬“我的那段特斯拉车评是不公正的”这一都市传说时，我确实有点不爽。

And the fact is, Elon Musk took the BBC to court on the matter and lost. He lost the appeal, too.

但事实是，马斯克曾经就此事向BBC提起诉讼，但最终败诉。上诉也败了。

I know no one believes me.

我知道没有人会相信我。

In the same way that no one believes Mick Fleetwood when he claims he never snorted cocaine from the back of Eric Clapton’s dog.

同样，当Mick Fleetwood说自己从来没有在Eric Clapton的狗的后背上吸食可卡因时，也没有人相信他。

But it’s true.

但那就是事实。

On Top Gear we cocked about and upset a lot of people over the years.

这么多年以来，我们在Top Gear上胡作非为，惹恼了不少人。

But our road tests were always scrupulously fair.

但我们的测评总是非常严谨且公平公正的。

原文链接：https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/30302831/top-gear-myths-jeremy-clarkson/

原作者：杰里米·克拉克森   Jeremy Clarkson

翻译&校对：ZN

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